K C Bhanumathy

Bhanumathy Vasudevan

Sacred Cave for Women

Boundary series-7- Boundary practice

Boundary practice is learnable. It is, therefore, also teachable.

One of the ways to begin thinking about boundary practice is which are those relationships that I continue to have recurrent problems of communication, misunderstanding, frustration, anxiety, anger or fear?

Take those relationship one by one and analyze whether the problems have a predictable pattern that seem to repeat itself. Almost like once some issue creeps up in that specific relationship, you can just predict what words will come out of you and the other, what emotions it will evoke in you, what you end up feeling?

This relationship could possibly be a potential one for resetting the boundary.

1.What kind of boundary is it now? Is it porous? Is it open door always? Is it leaky? Do you have room for yourself?

2.Examine what kind of possible psychological hooks exist in that relationship.

  • Are these particular words or tone of communication or no communication?
  • Is it gesture or a sign you, see?
  • Is it your particular emotional need that you are accustomed to 

3.Identify your psychological hooks that makes the boundary a messy affair and work on them mindfully. Take baby steps towards the new boundary…

Watch how this consciousness changes your automatic behavior in boundary management.

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